Live A Little, Laugh A Little
by greengirl82
Summary: When there's nothing left you've gotta laugh at yourself. A series of oneshots involving Hotch and Emily.
1. Baseball Brawl

**Live A Little, Laugh A Little**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Mind, got that?

Summary: While relaxing after a case in New York, the girls prank the men by making them jealous but when the prank escalates into a fight with some random men what will happen?

A/N: I had decided to post these funny one-shots about humor together. It should be four or five one-shots, so enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me." Mitch Hedberg

* * *

Emily tried to find a comfy spot as she settled between Hotch and JJ but found it uncomfortable as she felt an elbow in the ribs.

"Son of a bitch," Emily murmured as she rubbed her side and looked over at Hotch "Do you mind?"

Hotch smirked, "Nope, I don't mind."

Emily rolled her eyes then noticed JJ digging her finger nails into her arms, "What?"

"Look." JJ whispered to the brunette.

Emily leaned over and seen Dave whispering to Morgan who was laughing.

"So?" Emily whispered to the blonde, "Big deal, they're talking. So what?"

"I heard him whisper to Morgan about us riding in the cars together," JJ said lightly, "You with Hotch, me with Dave."

"So?" Emily asked then asked, "Well what about Morgan and Reid?"

"They're taking a separate SUV," JJ explained, "But the reason this is a big deal, is because Dave is supposed to talk Hotch up to you. And Hotch is supposedly supposed to talk Dave up to me."

"And what the hell is this suppose to accomplish?" Emily asked frowning, "They're what, trying to get us to work the other over about each other to set one another on a date? That doesn't make any sense."

"Well that's men for you..." JJ said.

Emily looked over at Hotch intently watching the baseball game and seeing how the runners was on third, she looked up and seen not much time was left in the game.

She leaned in and whispered to JJ, who nodded and both women poked the men next to them.

Hotch looked over at her, "What?"

"Can you go get some snacks?" Emily asked in her best pleading voice, "Please Hotch?"

Hotch sighed, seeing Dave look over at him, with a nod, "Fine. What do you want?"

"Soda with ice, and a pretzel." Emily smiled brightly at him.

"I'll have the same, Dave with extra salt." JJ said flashing her pearly whites.

"Be right back." Hotch said passing by Emily who resisted the urge to pinch him.

Emily looked back at JJ who nodded, seeing Morgan too focused on the game to pay them attention.

JJ leaned in whispering over to Emily, who nodded while a grin grew across her face.

Hotch walked back up the steps with Dave, and looked over to see Emily and JJ talking to a group of men behind them, all laughing.

Hotch turned back to Dave with a raised eyebrow, "Take a look at that."

"Mm hmm," Dave replied not at all pleased, "So now what?"

Hotch looked from the group of men, to the two women in question.

"We make it clear they are unavailable." Hotch whispered as they made their way down the aisle.

"Here you go," Dave said, "Soda and pretzel, extra salt."

JJ took the pretzel and resumed her conversation with the men.

"Thanks, Hotch" Emily said smiling at him then turning to the man behind her, "Want a piece, Bobby?"

"Thanks, Em." Bobby said smiling back.

Hotch leaned back munching on his popcorn when he saw Dave look over at him and nod.

"So," Hotch said to Emily, "Who's your favorite player?"

"On the Yankees?" Emily said turning around to Hotch who nodded "Old favorite was definitely Joe DiMaggio. Now... I don't know, I hardly have the time to follow baseball."

"Em?" JJ called out, "Who was that guy you dated who was obsessed with the Knicks?"

"That's basketball," Dave said chuckling lightly to JJ, while Hotch eyed Emily who had a smirk on her face.

"Oh," JJ said, "Well I'm more of a soccer girl, myself. What was his name?"

"Joey." Emily said, "Sweet and good looking guy. But not much up in the brains department."

Hotch chuckled at that, while JJ added, "But he was good right?"

Emily smirked, "Oh yeah. Three things he was good at, watching sports, food and _that_."

JJ laughed. "Yeah I had a couple of guys like that. Scott was a wannabe football player and Harrison, he was addicted to gambling. Any kind of bet, any time."

"Wow," Emily said looking over at her, "Were they at least cute?"

JJ tilted her head, "Scott definitely was. But Harrison, he had away of growing on you."

"Like mold?" Emily asked and heard both men laugh.

Emily felt a tap on her shoulder, "Oh hey, Bobby."

Bobby smiled at her, "Why don't you two pretty girls come sit up here with us?"

JJ looked over, "That's sweet but we're here with..."

"Who, these two sticks in the mud?" Bobby's friend asked.

"Come on sweetheart," Bobby said reaching for the brunette, "Sit up here with us."

Emily smiled, "That's sweet but we'll just stay right here."

Hotch felt relief wash through him until he felt a piece of popcorn hit his shoulder and he turned around.

Dave looked over and winced when a peanut hit his ear, "Watch it."

Dave turned to give the three men a glare.

"Do you guys mind? We're trying to watch the game." Dave said in an authoritative tone.

"Why?" Bobby's friend said, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Excuse me?" Hotch said.

"Not talking to you." Bobby told him.

"Well you are now," Hotch glared at Bobby, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Why are you bogarting the babes?" Bobby's friend asked "How about sharing the ladies?"

"No," Hotch said angrily, "And for your information women do not appreciate being called babes."

Bobby and his friends laughed, "Sure thing loser." Bobby said chucking popcorn at Hotch and Dave.

Morgan's head turned when he felt a piece of paper hit him, "Watch it man."

Emily turned her head to Bobby, "Knock it off."

"No, not until you and blondie sit up here with us." Bobby said with a quirk eyebrow.

Rolling her eyes, "Seriously?" Emily asked "This is why you're being obnoxious?"

"It's not obnoxious if we're cute." Bobby said tossing his popcorn on Hotch's shoulders.

"Cut it out, man." Morgan ordered.

"Why?" Bobby asked "What are you going to do?"

Morgan looked over at Hotch and Dave, and the three men pulled out their FBI badges.

"FBI" Hotch said, "And I think I should inform you that these two women you've been harassing are also Federal Agents."

Bobby looked over at his friends and laughed, "Ooh, FBI." Bobby leaned forward, "Well I don't think hitting on two gorgeous girls constitutes harassment. And I should know."

"Harassed many women?" JJ dryly quipped, "Why am I not surprised?"

Bobby bent over laughing as he pulled out his wallet, "Nope. It would be bad for an Assistant District Attorney to harass women."

Dave raised an eyebrow, "Who'd be stupid enough to appoint him as an A.D.A?"

Bobby's friends kept chucking popcorn on the two men, "What are you going to do about it? Hmm? Nothing, just as I thought. Ladies, your fellas here are nothing but cowards. Now how about sitting up here with some real men?"

Hotch, Dave and Morgan dropped their food and looked over to the three laughing men behind them.

Hotch stood up, "Lets take this outside."

Bobby stood up, "Gladly," Turning to Emily he smirked, "After I kick your guy's ass how about we grab a drink?"

Morgan and Dave followed the men out while Emily turned to JJ, "Oh my god they're actually going to brawl."

"Well what are we waiting for?" JJ said grabbing Emily and making their way down the aisle.

Emily and JJ rushed outside the gate, looking for the men.

"Hotch" Emily said running up to him, "You don't have to do this."

Hotch pulled off his suit jacket tossing it to Emily, then undid his tie handing it over.

"I haven't picked a fight since senior year of high school, but I kicked Rick Taylor's ass and I'll kick this Bobby guy's ass too." Hotch said.

Dave looked over to see one of Bobby's friends eyeing him and then JJ looking at Dave.

"You're really going to let this happen?" JJ asked.

"Freddie and that football player looking guy can referee, Grandpa over here and Jimmy can sit this round out." Bobby said, "Ready?"

Hotch rushed forward and punched Bobby in the face, knocking him down to the ground.

The younger man shook his head and looked back up at Hotch with a smirk on his face, laughing.

"Good." Bobby said, getting up wiping the blood from his nose, "Bring your "a" game."

Bobby rushed forward, sucker punching Hotch in the ribs and the two men wrestled on the grass.

Scrapping as the two men punched and hit each other moving back and forth.

Hotch got up and grabbed the younger man up with him while the bystanders moved back away from the action.

"Come on, old man" Bobby said lunging forward and knocking Hotch down.

Bobby rammed Hotch onto the ground punching him in the stomach and face, slugging him in the face with his fists.

Hotch grunted as he felt his back hit the ground, rolling over he got up and kicked the younger man in the gut as he reached down ignoring the shouts of the men grabbing Bobby.

Reaching down he pulled the man up, grabbing the collar of his shirt, "Look at me. I'm the one that did this to you."

Hotch punched him again, and felt Emily touch his hand shaking her head, "Hotch."

Pulling away from the man on the ground, Hotch stepped away whispering, "You just got lucky."

Hotch pulled Emily's hand into his and looked at his friends, "Lets go."

Emily and JJ sat in the back of the SUV, Emily and Hotch's eyes meeting every few minutes in the rear view mirror.

A look shared, as a small smile gracing Hotch's face when he saw Emily's cheeks blush.

JJ poked the brunette to get her attention focused off of Hotch and on to herself.

"Em?" JJ whispered, "Why?"

"Hmm?" Emily said turning her attention to the blonde.

"Why did you stop him?" JJ asked.

Emily looked over to see the three men in deep discussion she leaned towards JJ, with a small smile on her face.

"I think Hotch got his point across" Emily said, "You know as well as I do, that challenging an Alpha Male's pride would have sparked rivalry. But I couldn't just stand by any longer, even though he was doing it to defend our honor, it just felt wrong."

JJ frowned, "But Bobby and his friends started it...

Emily sighed, "I know, I know, JJ. But I couldn't stand to see Hotch like that. Besides we didn't need to finish our little prank of jealousy by mentioning all the old boyfriends, thanks to that Bobby idiot we got a jump start."

JJ tapped her chin, "You know I'm thinking I recognize him, but I can't remember from where."

"Who Bobby?" Emily asked frowning, she looked down when her cell phone beeped, tapping the screen she held up the text message from Garcia.

_'No need to thank me. No one ever does. BTW Bobby said that Hotch punches like he's Jean-Claude Van Damme in Blood Sport. Not sure if that's a good thing for Bobby but he's alive.'_

"Oh my God" JJ murmured, "Garcia hired those guys?"

Emily looked over at the stunned blonde, "You're surprised?"

JJ looked up to see Dave look back at her, while Hotch who was in the passenger seat looked back as well.

"What are you two talking about back there?" Morgan asked teasingly.

"Nothing." Both women said in unison as they looked back at the cell phone with a smirk.

"Remind me to buy Garcia something glittery for her desk." Emily whispered to JJ.

* * *

Boris Pasternak, "Surprise is the greatest gift which life can grant us."

* * *

**Tune In Next Time...**

So did you all guess who the guys that Emily and JJ were referring to?

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	2. Where There's Smoke

**Live A Little, Laugh A Little**

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah. Not mine, got it?

Summary: Morgan and Reid come into the BAU and noticed that everyone on the team is gone.

A/N: So here we go again, a new week with another chapter. I was asked to bring this one back, so here it is. Hope you've all enjoyed the story so far.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

Groucho Marx said, "Humor is reason gone mad."

* * *

Morgan and Reid walked out of the elevator on the BAU floor and noticed that their team wasn't there.

"Where'd everybody go?" Reid asked noticing Emily's empty desk.

"You don't think they called it an early day and forgot to tell us?" Morgan asked Reid "Because that would suck if they did and didn't tell us."

Reid looked down at the bottom of Emily's desk and shaking his head "Not unless Emily left her purse behind."

Looking around Morgan spotted Anderson and called the man over, "Yo, you seen anyone from my team?"

Anderson furrowed his browns in thought "Not for a couple of hours."

Morgan looked back at Reid, "We should search for them. For all we know they could be trapped in a locked closet."

Reid had a thought "Statistically all work related deaths are..."

"Not the time, kid." Morgan said cutting Reid off mid-sentence. "So not the time. Let's check Hotch's office."

The two profilers wandered up the catwalk, noticing both Hotch and Dave's office lights off and walked into Hotch's office.

"Well, wherever he went" Reid started "He planned to come back. See? He left his suit jacket and briefcase."

"And Hotch never goes anywhere without any of those." Morgan added.

Both men look around the office, seeing a half finished case file but nothing indicating where Hotch was now.

"Should we check Dave's office?" Reid asked looking over at the older man.

Morgan shrugged his shoulders "Guess it wouldn't hurt. Maybe there's something in his office for where everyone went."

Both men leave the office and walk next door to Dave's office.

"Well the light's off." Morgan commented as he opened the door.

Both agents were shocked beyond belief at the sight in front of them.

Dave and JJ in a full on make out session on Dave's couch.

Hearing the tiny gasps from Reid tore the man and woman apart.

"Shut the damn door now!" Dave ordered while JJ just smirked at the two.

Morgan grabbed Reid by the shirt collar, slamming the door closed.

"Did I just see..." Morgan asked turning to the younger man beside him "What I think I just thought I saw?"

"If you mean Dave and JJ making out on the couch in his office?" Reid asked "Then yes, you did."

A smirk played on Morgan's face as he looked over at Reid.

"What?" Reid asked in a child like voice.

"You know who'd love to know this?" Morgan said "Garcia."

"Are you crazy?" Reid asked "JJ would kill us, and Dave would help her bury the bodies."

"Too bad." Morgan said "Come on."

"What about finding Hotch and Emily?" Reid asked hoping to distract Morgan from ratting out the couple.

"She could help us find them by tracking their cellphones." Morgan said.

The two wandered down to Garcia's office, with Reid still insisting that it was a bad idea.

Standing outside Garcia's closed office door, Morgan said "Look, we get Garcia to do this favor for us, and in return we'll give her the scoop on JJ and Dave."

Reid sighed as he opened the door to Garcia's office. Both stopped in their tracks at the image in front of them.

Garcia and Kevin were in full mode make out session, with Kevin's shirt about to be stripped off his body by the anxious Garcia.

"Oh my God." Kevin said seeing the shocked faces of Morgan and Reid.

"I know, baby." Garcia said "I'm so hot for action too."

"Turn around." Kevin told her.

"What?" Garcia said turning around, seeing Morgan and Reid's shocked faces "Out. Get out. Now!"

"No need to tell me twice." Reid muttered dragging a shocked Morgan with him.

Slamming the door shut, Morgan shook his head 'What is with everyone today?'

"So now what?" Reid asked "We walked in twice on members of our team..."

"I don't need a visual flashback" Morgan said.

"And we still haven't found Hotch or Emily." Reid added.

Morgan internally reflected that "Let's go back to the bullpen and call their cellphones and houses, and if we don't find them then we will have to again interrupt this strange interlude between Dave, JJ, Garcia and Kevin."

Walking down the hall, both men silent with the thoughts of the past half hour repeating in their head.

A muffled noise was heard as they passed a supply closet.

"What was that?" Reid asked.

"I don't know." Morgan said reaching for the door handle "Better find out."

Opening the door, they see the naked butt of their boss, with Emily's legs wrapped around his waist.

"Oh God." Emily said half in pleasure and shock by seeing the two profilers in front of them.

Rendered speechless Morgan covered Reid's eyes, while Morgan's jaw was dropped.

"Oh, yeah baby." Hotch moaned "Like that?"

"Don't look behind you." Emily said as she glared at the eavesdropping peeping toms.

"Shut the damn door, you pervert." Emily growled out to them.

"Huh?" Hotch said oblivious to the men behind him.

"We got voyeurs," Emily said panting "Morgan and Reid."

"Close the damn doors or you're fired." Hotch said hearing the doors slam shut.

Morgan and Reid walked silently back to the bullpen.

Sitting at their desk the two look in the three separate directions they took, shaking their heads.

"Is it us?" Morgan asked "Or does it seem like everyone's got a girlfriend?"

Reid pulled out his cell phone at the text message he received "It's you. Because I've got a girlfriend."

Morgan's head dropped as he saw the young profiler texting. _'What a day.'_

* * *

"One man by himself is nothing. Two people who belong together make a world." Hans Margolius

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

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	3. The Black Eye

**Live A Little, Laugh A Little**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, but I own my own mind.

Summary: When Emily comes into the BAU with a black eye, the team wonders what happened.

A/N: So here's the next chapter in this series of one-shots, I hope you enjoy it as well. This quick one shot was inspired by the I Love Lucy episode.

Thanks for reading and do remember that a review is always nice.

* * *

Lionel Trilling said, "Where misunderstanding serves others as an advantage, one is helpless to make oneself understood."

* * *

Emily stood in the moving elevator of the BAU, quickly pulling out her compact mirror to double-check her eye.

Sighing, Emily thought _'Not too bad, not good either.'_

As she waited for the doors to open, Emily knew that when her team saw the black eye they'd demand answers but she knew she couldn't tell them. It was beyond humiliating.

The elevator doors opened, lowering her head to the ground, Emily cursed that she couldn't have worn her sunglasses inside because well that would be too obvious.

_'And there's only so much that concealer and powder can cover.'_ Emily told herself as she walked over to her desk.

Placing her purse and go-bag under the desk, Emily could hear Reid and Morgan talking. A quick glance up to the offices caught her attention.

Dave and Hotch were in Hotch's office, Dave quickly glanced down into the bullpen and saw Emily with a black eye.

"What you looking at, Princess?" Morgan said teasingly "Or more specifically, who?"

"Shut up." Emily muttered turning to glare at him.

Morgan and Reid's jaw dropped at the sight of a bruised eye.

"Jesus, Emily" Morgan said in shock "What happened to your eye?"

"Nothing," Emily quickly answered, turning her attention to the massive paper work as she sat down.

Morgan got up, and strolled over to her desk, concern on his face, as Morgan looked up he saw Dave make his way down the catwalk towards them. Morgan knew that Dave saw the black eye.

"Princess," Morgan said concern in his voice "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Glancing up out of the corner of her eye, "Morgan, you're a good friend and I love you..."

Dave wandered over to the desk, noticing Hotch still sat in his office watching the scene unfold down below.

"Emily?" Dave asked voice full of emotion "Do you need any help?"

Looking puzzled by the statement "Need any...?"

As she looked up at the concern in Dave, Morgan and Reid, "What? No, no, no this is not what it looks like. I swear. No one did this to me."

The three profilers exchanged looks at each other, while Emily peaked at Hotch in his office, giving a glare.

"Emily" Reid said "Statistically one out of three cases of abuse..."

"I am not being abused" Emily hissed "This is not what it looks like."

Hearing commotion in the bullpen, Garcia and JJ emerge from JJ's office to see the male BAU profilers hovering over Emily's desk each leaning in while Emily looked ready to commit mass murder.

"What the heck is going on?" JJ asked Garcia.

Garcia looks over at the blonde agent, "You're asking me?"

JJ wrinkles her forehead at that statement "Well, you're usually the one with all the juicy gossip around here. So you have no clue?"

Garcia shook her head and said, "Did you hear that, Anderson is involved in a sexual relationship..."

JJ covered her ears, "I so do not want to know who Anderson is doing..."

"I am not being abused!" Emily hissed out "This isn't what it looks like."

Both blonde BAU women look at each other, "Did she just say abuse?" Garcia asked.

"Sounds like it." JJ said as both women rush over to the brunette's desk.

"What's going on?" Garcia asked then gasped when she saw Emily's eye "Oh my little Gumdrop! What happened? Who's financial credit do I have to destroy for doing this to you?"

"Emily?" JJ asked "Em, what happened?"

Rolling her dark brown eyes, "This is not a result of an abuse thing. It was totally an accident. An embarrassing one at that."

"How can something as how you got a black eye be embarrassing?" JJ asked seeing Morgan's concern lace into anger at his friend possibly being abused and Dave's fatherly protection.

"Well..." Emily started to say, and the team all turned around to notice Hotch making his way down into the bullpen.

The team looked back at Emily, waiting for her to continue.

"Go on" Morgan said "Tell us what happened."

"Well the thing is..." Emily said.

"It was my fault." Hotch stated.

This caused both blondes to gasp in shock, while Reid looked confused, Dave wore an impassive look but Morgan looked pissed.

"You did this?" Morgan asked pointing to Emily's eye "What the hell did you do?"

"It was an accident." Emily said.

"How was that an accident?" Reid asked.

"Accident?" Morgan scoffed "An accident is bumping someone's car in traffic not giving someone a black eye."

Sighing Emily looked up at Hotch who nodded.

"It happened..." Emily said "While we were in bed."

JJ and Dave raised an eyebrow at that, Garcia smirked while Morgan looked puzzled as he stared between the two dark-haired agents.

"In bed?" Morgan repeated.

"Care to explain?" Garcia asked.

Hotch huffed out a sigh, "We were... being intimate."

Reid's cheeks went pink at that, and whispered "I think I'm going to go back to work."

"Now that this has been cleared up," Hotch said looking at his team "How about everyone return to their work?"

Morgan finally nodded, pleased that the black eye wasn't the result of another reason.

"Thank God." Emily muttered seeing her desk free of her team except for Hotch.

"Want to go up to my office for a break?" Hotch whispered in her ear.

Smiling gratefully, Emily whispered back, "Yes."

The two dark-haired agents, walked up the catwalk ignoring the smirks their team shot each other at the revelation that they were a couple.

Walking into Hotch's office, he led her over to his couch, and sat next to her watching her.

"What?" Emily said seeing the intent look on his face.

"How's the eye feeling?" Hotch asked.

Shrugging her shoulder, Emily said, "It's not as bad as it looks. Doesn't really hurt much."

Wrapping his arms around her, "I'm sorry. This was my fault."

Shaking her head as she leaned against Hotch, "Please. I'm the one that wanted to try something new..."

Smirking, Hotch looked down at her, "But really, who would have thought that a bottle of whip cream could cause such damage?"

Emily chuckled, "Well what did you expect to happen when you chuck a bottle of whip cream at me?"

Hotch laughed lightly, "Just be glad it wasn't the cherries."

Hotch kissed Emily as he pulled back, he asked "So how do you feel about the team knowing about us?"

"It's fine." Emily said, "I don't care that they know. But you know they won't give up on teasing us."

Kissing her forehead, Hotch said, "Well unless they want to do all of our reports for us, they better. For their sake."

Kissing his chin, "Better get back to work before they start making smart ass remarks about us and some 'afternoon delight'."

"You'll come by my place after work?" Hotch asked watching her walk to the door.

Turning to give him a look, "You know I will. Besides it's my turn for some payback."

Raising an eyebrow Hotch said "Hey, you said giving you some T.L.C. resolved that."

"Did I?" Emily said smirking as she walked out the door, "Guess I'll need a reminder..."

Hotch shook his head as he watched Emily return to the bullpen, and tossed a paper ball at Morgan when he made a comment.

* * *

"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacitates of the human misunderstanding." Ambrose Bierce

* * *

**Tune In Next Time...**

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	4. Rendezvous

**Live A Little, Laugh A Little**

Disclaimer: **Sighs** As much as I hate to admit this, CBS owns Criminal Minds. Not me.

Summary: Hotch and Emily, who are dating, decide to spice up their love life by role-playing and pretending to be strangers who hook up at a hotel bar. The problem is their both bad at it, Hotch with his innuendos and Emily attracted the wrong person.

A/N: Here's another chapter, I believe there maybe one more after this. I hope you've all enjoyed this.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to review.

* * *

Countee Cullen said, "I had a rendezvous with life."

* * *

The brunette in the form-fitting, low-cut red dress sipped her martini and smiled when she saw a man in a dark blue suit sitting across from her at the bar smiled at her.

She raised her glass and toasted him.

He held a smirk on his face as he got his drink and walked over to her side of the bar.

"Hi." the dark-haired man said.

"Hot." the woman replied taking an ice cube from her untouched water glass rubbing it across her neck.

"Yeah, yes it is." Hotch replied "I'm Michael Smith."

"Nicole." Emily replied back shaking his hand "Take a seat, handsome."

"So what's a pretty thing like you doing in a bar all by yourself?" Hotch said sitting in the bar stool next to her.

"Just taking in the scene." Emily said "New in town."

"So tell me Nicole, are you seeing anyone?" Hotch asked.

"As a matter of fact, I'm engaged." Emily said.

"Is that a fact?" Hotch said placing his hand on her thigh "Then how come your fiancée isn't here to keep the big bad wolves away from you?"

"He's a workaholic." Emily said "And tell me, Michael, are you a big bad wolf?"

"Only when it comes to insanely beautiful brunettes." Hotch said "Tell me Nicole, are you interested in this big bad wolf blowing your house down."

Emily chuckled at the bad come on, and said "Oh I think I'd like to be the one to do the blowing..."

The man sitting next to Emily and Hotch started coughing and the bartender dropped the glass he was filling.

"Is that so?" the man said next to the brunettes.

"Do you mind?" Emily said "This is a private conversation."

Emily turned her attention back to Hotch.

"Tell me Michael..." Emily said lifting her hand and rubbing it over his thigh "What is it you do?"

"I'm a traveling business man." Hotch said licking his lips.

"What kind of business?" Emily asked stroking his thigh hearing his breathing hitch.

"I go from different towns speaking a conventions on different products." Hotch said voice grainy "What about you, Nicole. What do you do?"

"Sex therapist." Emily said casually.

Hotch coughed on his drink and raised an eyebrow smirking.

"Is that a fact." Hotch said "I think I'd like to see that."

"How about it Michael?" Emily said pouting her lips.

"How about what?" Hotch asked leaning himself into her neck.

"Want to join me upstairs?" Emily asked giggling when he lightly bit her neck. "Would you like to come?"

"Oh I'd enjoy that immensely." Hotch said "I'd go straight up."

"Well, Michael I can't wait to see that." Emily said opening her red clutch and pulling out her room key.

"Why don't you come up and see me," Emily murmured sensually, her wicked smile made his pulse race.

"I think I'd like that," Hotch answered leaning into kiss her neck, watching as the brunette placed her warm hand on his chest separating the pair.

"Don't be long," Emily teased placing money down for their drinks.

"I never am." Hotch said.

Hotch picked up the key watching the sexy brunette head to the elevator and raced to join her.

Before the elevator doors closed Hotch ran in and said "I thought we could go up together."

"I think we'll both go up and down together." Emily said grabbing his shirt pulling him into a deep kiss.

The elevator doors open and the two stumble to their room keeping up with the kiss as it deepens.

Closing the door behind her, Emily turns around to see Hotch laying on the bed motioning her to join him.

Slipping out of her dress, she crawls up on the bed to join him and he kisses her biting her bottom lip.

"Happy anniversary, baby." Hotch said.

"Happy anniversary," Emily whispered shoving him down on the bed removing his shirt "I love you."

"I love you too," he sighed throwing his shirt on to the ground "And I love this game."

Emily giggled as he flipped them over, saying "I don't think you do I can still hear your pants."

Hotch laughed and said "Maybe I'll shut them up."

"I know this was always my favorite game of ours." Emily said pulling Hotch on her.

"Really?" Hotch smirked, "Not the naughty FBI agents?"

"Uh uh," Emily chuckled as he pulled her into a kiss once she pulled back she grinned at him, "Take me Mr. Smith."

Hotch laughed moving his mouth on to her neck, "We'll definitely have to do this again."

* * *

Honore de Balzac said, "Great love affairs begin with champagne and end with tisane."

* * *

**To Be Concluded...**

Well there seems to be one more chapter in the series. Don't forget to leave a review.


	5. Hotch vs Emily

**Live A Little, Laugh A Little**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, enough said...

Summary: Hotch storms into the bar angry because of a certain brunette.

A/N: So here we are again, the last chapter in this series. I hope you've all enjoyed them.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

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"Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found your lover for life." Leo Buscaglia

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Hotch wandered into the bar across the street from the Federal Building marching up to the booth that sat the male members of his team.

"Do me a favor?" Dave told Reid "Be the designated driver, because I have a feeling we're going to need one."

"But Hotch is usually..." Reid started but saw the look flashing across the Unit Chief's face, "Ok."

"Buy you a beer?" Morgan offered Hotch.

"Need something stronger, after the night I've had." Hotch said ordering a bottle of whisky from the waitress.

"What happened?" Dave asked carefully, treading lightly on his words, partially knowing what may have set him off.

"Emily Prentiss." Hotch says gulping down his drink.

"Em?" JJ said seeing the brunette walk in through the back entrance of the bar "What happened?"

Garcia turned around and gasps at the sight of Emily, "Gumdrop, what happened?"

"Hotch." Emily said sliding into the booth, turning and seeing the back of his head as he sat across from Dave.

"What about him?" JJ asked offering her beer to the rattled brunette.

"I turned down his proposal." Emily told the two blondes.

"Again?" Garcia asked loudly "Oops, that came out louder than I meant."

"Why?" JJ asked "I thought after the last few times that he swore that he wouldn't propose again. Didn't you tell him you weren't ready?"

Emily sighed as she ran her hands through her hair, noticing the small trace of blood on them, grabbing the napkin she wiped it off.

"Is that blood?" Garcia asked shocked "OMG, did he hit you?"

"What?" Emily asked shocked "No, Hotch would never ever hit me, or any woman."

"Then how did you get blood on you?" JJ said checking her over to see for anymore damage.

"I proposed to her" Hotch told the men "Again. It was a romantic setting, down at the pier. Just as the sun started to set, I got down on one knee, pulled out the ring. And asked her to marry me."

"And she said... no?" Morgan asked half knowing.

"She said no." Hotch confirmed "Well first she looked at me and asked if I was talking to her. Then she said no. I got so mad at that, because she told me she was ready to get married."

"And what happened?" Dave asked "How did you get so messy?"

"After she turned me down," Hotch sighed "I chased her for about three blocks..."

"What?" the three men said in shock.

"You chased her down for three blocks?" Dave asked "Well what happened after that?"

"She fell and I tackled her to the ground." Hotch said spacing out to a flash.

"Hotch?" Dave called out, "Hotch? Hotch!"

Hotch shuddered "I just had a weird thought..."

"What?" Reid asked.

"That you got the electric chair for killing, Emily?" Morgan joked but stopped when he saw the looks on the three men's faces "Sorry."

"What if all these proposals she's making me do..." Hotch stated "Were just a test to see if I was commitment worthy?"

"Yeah, I'd buy that," Dave said slowly "If she hadn't run three blocks to get away from you."

Hotch placed his head in hands "What the hell do I do?"

"Well she is over there" Reid said seeing Emily in the back with JJ and Garcia "You could talk to her."

"So where were you going to go?" Garcia joked "Those three blocks?"

"I think I saw a really great dress in Bonnie's Dress Shop" Emily said dryly "Of course I wasn't able to stop and price it, you know with me running away from a man who proposed to me."

"Well why do you keep turning him down?" JJ asked.

"I don't know" Emily said covering her face with her hands, "I love him, I really do. But something inside keeps making me say no."

"Well what do you want to do?" JJ asked seeing Hotch come over and she made a move to leave the table while Emily laid her head on the table not looking at them "Do you want to break up with him?"

Hotch slid into the booth seeing Emily covering her face not seeing him.

"Break up with him?" Emily asked "Are you insane? I love him. I don't know why I keep saying no. I think, maybe it has to do with the fact that I'll..."

Emily looked up and gasps when she saw Hotch sitting across from her, and muttered "Crap"

"Has to do with the fact that you'll what?" Hotch asked, grabbing her hands holding her still when he saw her look for an escape route "You're not getting away this time until you answer my questions. And no kneeing me in the stomach again."

"I only kneed you to get you off of me." Emily muttered "Tackling me in the mud wasn't fun."

"Neither was seeing you turn down my proposal then run off three blocks against heavy traffic." Hotch told her as he exhaled "Just talk to me. Do you love me or not?"

"Yes." Emily said as a tear slipped down her face.

"Is that a yes you love me?" Hotch asked "Or a yes to you don't love me?"

"I love you." Emily said pulling her hand away seeing his face relax, "But I don't think we'd be good as a married couple."

"Why?" Hotch asked "We've been together for nearly two years. Jack loves you like a mother."

"But I'm not his mother" Emily said loudly "I'm not Haley. I can't be her, I can't replace her in yours and Jack's lives or hearts."

Hotch pulled his hand away, now knowing the reason for the multiple rejections.

"I never asked or wanted you to replace Haley." Hotch said "Is that why you think I kept proposing? Because I needed a replacement wife and mother for Jack? Emily, I love you for you."

Emily lightly sobbed trying to free her left hand, "Don't say that."

"Emily" Hotch said holding her hand tightly "Look at me. I love you for you. Even in spite of your weird quirks and fairly weird sense of humor. You could never replace Haley because as wonderful as she was as a mother, Haley was Haley and you are Emily Prentiss. You're one of a kind."

"Aaron" Emily said feeling herself smile "Are you sure?"

Hotch nodded.

"Look at that" JJ whispered to the men "I think Hotch is going to propose again."

"The man is a glutton for punishment," Morgan said "Ow!"

"Don't ever think of speaking disparaging about the Dynamic Duo," Garcia said pinching Morgan again.

"Fine," Morgan said.

"Get closer," JJ said grabbing Garcia's free hand leaving the table.

"Emily Prentiss," Hotch said pulling out the ring "Will you marry me?"

Emily covered her mouth with her hand, tears lightly in her eyes as she nodded.

"Oh thank God!" Garcia said "Finally!"

The team watched Hotch place the ring on her finger as he pulled in closer at the booth to hug her.

"So is this the actual first time you've seen the ring?" Dave asked "Or has he proposed with a series of different rings?"

"He's not you, Dave" Emily said kissing Hotch's neck "I think this is the same ring from Valentine's Day."

Hotch nodded kissing her forehead, not letting her go.

"So," Garcia slowly asked sliding in next to the happy pair "Just how many times has he actually proposed?"

Hotch and Emily looked at each other and then the team.

"Too inappropriate?" JJ asked seeing their faces.

"No" Emily said looking at Hotch "Trying to count it up."

"Counting the two from tonight?" Hotch asked "Five times."

"Five times?" Dave asked shocked "Wow, you're a better man than me."

Hotch turned to Emily, "Fifth times the charm."

"Ok" Morgan said "Count 'em up, who had five?"

The dark-haired couple turned to see everyone pull out a scrap of paper with their numbers.

"Woo!" Dave said "I came in close with six."

"Uh oh" Emily said "They bet on how many proposals?"

"Hey" Hotch said "Don't forget you owe me my half."

"What?" Emily asked "You bet on us?"

"Every single time." Hotch said "Every time I proposed I changed the number."

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"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be." Robert Browning

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**THE END**

So this review box thing? How does it work? I'm curious...


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